Closest to the ball goes first

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2021.12.07 15:09 thehypocrisyofreddit Closest to the ball goes first

even if you don’t go by the left goes first mantra, at least understand that if you are closest to the ball, you need to go first. Why is it so hard for people to understand?
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2021.12.07 15:09 Nick_Valentines_Day In Red from Her IG Story

In Red from Her IG Story submitted by Nick_Valentines_Day to beberexha [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 Noimnotsally [Gifted] enjoy the movies 🥤🤗🍿

[Gifted] enjoy the movies 🥤🤗🍿 submitted by Noimnotsally to Random_Acts_Of_Amazon [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 Desperate-invest-56 Short Interest in Advaxis, Inc. (NASDAQ:ADXS) Declines By 20.0%, prices go up

Short Interest in Advaxis, Inc. (NASDAQ:ADXS) Declines By 20.0%, prices go up submitted by Desperate-invest-56 to ADXS [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 TinyAsianMachine Just shat myself in a shared house, unsure how to proceed.

So, I'm sitting here with a bag of my own shit next to me. You may be wondering how I got here, well today's your lucky day!
To give you a bit of context, I am a student living in a shared apartment, with 3 other housemates. I have IBS and have a history with disastrous explosive diarrhoea. Today, on my day off, I felt a bit depressed so i spent a little too long in bed. I felt something coming but I was so comfy and nice in bed that I let it wait. I dozed off a bit, waking up a couple hours later feeling my butt flexing to hold in some chocolate custard, not ideal. I get up, stretch and head to the bathroom. Doors locked. Meh, I'll come back in a bit. I go, make coffee, make some nice pancakes on my new cast iron skillet (shout out to /castiron ). Not bad, now let's check that toilet again, still someone in there, okay, not feeling great now but I guess I can wait a little longer. See, I knew my housemate had her BF over and they sometimes take long baths, no big deal, I don't want to ruin their vibe. I go to my room and try to forget about it for a bit, you know that way when you really need to pee and sometimes you forget about it? That must apply for turds too right?
So I try to find something to keep me busy so I log in to check my Crypto portfolio. At this point it was hard to distract myself, I kept checking every 10 minutes or so. I start to feel some bad chemicals go to my brain, hmmm. My internal dialogue went something like this 'Hasn't it been like 2 hours at this point? I decide to knock. No answer. Maybe they fell asleep? 'Hello? Anyone in there?'. No answer. Hmmmm, Its FINEEEE, they'll be out any minute now, how much longer can people realistically stay in a bath? Don't sweat it!'
Back to my room, trying to find a way to sit in order to lodge my shit in place within my intestines, I can't let this go any further, got to get that mind muscle connection and contract my intestines or something. Tried laying down, standing up, upside down, everything. It wasn't helping, if anything it was jiggling around my bowels and I felt what was probably a quart of hot shit magma sliding down like it was a waterslide. Ah shit, I evaluate my options. Realistically I have about 30 seconds until my ass explodes, I used to be in the military, I should be able to form solid strategic plans in life or death scenarios right? ...right?
Okay, it's go time. I live in a city, can't just shit in the woods, if I try to walk to a restaurant I risk shitting myself on the way, not viable. Do I shit in the kitchen sink? Bad idea. Do I just shit my pants and sit in it? Ugh, not ideal on a carpeted house. Well shit, it's coming out now, my options are decreasing. I feel my fight or flight instinct sink in. 200,000 years of human evolution have got me to this point. My brain has evolved to solve these problems. Natural selection has made my leather cheerio have the power of the gods to hold the gates closed for long enough.
I grab a plastic bad, a large mixing bowl and spread the bag over the bowl and the minute my trousers come down I anally explode into the bag. Instant relief. The endorphins rush to my brain, now trust me lads, I've done my fair share of drugs but that rush of relief I just felt was unmatched. However, my bliss was short lived. The realisation soon comes to me that I now have a leaky plastic bag of human shit. Fuck.
I had no toilet paper so I wipe my arse with a t shirt I no longer wanted, but it didn't feel clean, and surely enough when I eventually sat down there was some squish to it. I tried going to the bathroom again to take a shower and contemplate my life choices that got me here, but the door was still locked. I felt like locking myself in my room and crying. I eventually get the courage to knock again, nothing. It's been like 6 hours at this point. This does not add up. I try to open the door... the lock had broken and no one had been in there the whole time. Now I'm sitting here, in a house that stinks of shit and coconut-scented Febreeze with a bag of diarrhoea and years of potential future trauma.
What do I do from here?
(Can a mod make this NSFW, I am unsure how to do so.)
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2021.12.07 15:09 thehappyartists Crashing wave, me, oil on canvas

Crashing wave, me, oil on canvas submitted by thehappyartists to painting [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 autisticconservative I made u/maddieadair's meme better.

I made u/maddieadair's meme better. submitted by autisticconservative to MockElectionsEey [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 MeatTornado25 [NCAA Football 11] Because I'm a weirdo

[NCAA Football 11] Because I'm a weirdo submitted by MeatTornado25 to Trophies [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 StillRelationship- This collection caught my eye, I would take it if I found it.

This collection caught my eye, I would take it if I found it. submitted by StillRelationship- to gantz [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 JasonVanderbart some AI generated Tricia art

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2021.12.07 15:09 wanfaltm Negate Sorc Cyrodiil Group PvP

Trying to come up with a negate sorc build for my guilds pvp group. Thinking I’m going to go with Arkasis / Dark Convergence / Malacath / Magma but I’m at a loss for what skills I should be using on my bars as well as what enchants I should be using (Tri-Stat on body?) and no clue what to use on weapons and jewelry, Ex: Spell damage vs reduce potion cooldown. Any help would be appreciated.
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2021.12.07 15:09 R10E [r/UF0B] Reeeeeeee

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2021.12.07 15:09 IcyHot369 A sketch of Mammon I did. This is my first time posting art here, so what do you think?

A sketch of Mammon I did. This is my first time posting art here, so what do you think? submitted by IcyHot369 to obeyme [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 weenytheif My $0 all found diy cart v1.0

My $0 all found diy cart v1.0 submitted by weenytheif to discgolf [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 turkmcdirt lord giveth and the lord taketh away

lord giveth and the lord taketh away submitted by turkmcdirt to golf [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 redhaze27 Red Hot

Red Hot submitted by redhaze27 to CindyPrado [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 BeyondGoodsandProfit Don't Succumb to Capitalism

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2021.12.07 15:09 jclarke1980 Can someone tribute my GF? Start with this one. Plenty of nudes. Kik always_looking_2000

Can someone tribute my GF? Start with this one. Plenty of nudes. Kik always_looking_2000 submitted by jclarke1980 to Cumtributeee [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 AutoNewspaperAdmin [National] - ‘Rarely apart’: File on Epstein hard drive details relationship with Maxwell | NY Post

[National] - ‘Rarely apart’: File on Epstein hard drive details relationship with Maxwell | NY Post submitted by AutoNewspaperAdmin to AutoNewspaper [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 HelpFew5732 HAT TO MATCH

HAT TO MATCH submitted by HelpFew5732 to peopleofwalmart [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 MusicFanDj PIĘKNI I MŁODZI Magdalena Narożna - Święta w prezentach (Acapella)
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2021.12.07 15:09 PopularGnat262 Updated Erica Mendez Character Battle Royale

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2021.12.07 15:09 MyDickFeelsLikeWood Evil Saitama (fixed it)

Evil Saitama (fixed it) submitted by MyDickFeelsLikeWood to OnePunchMan [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 NewsElfForEnterprise Replacing Engine Mounts on My 287,000-Mile M3 Was Nightmarish

Replacing Engine Mounts on My 287,000-Mile M3 Was Nightmarish submitted by NewsElfForEnterprise to News_Automotive [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 15:09 Jack_Hols25 Football Scarf Request

Hello Croatia, This may be one of the craziest requests you've seen on this subreddit but I think it would be worth your time to at least give it a read!
My name is Jack and I am from Northern Ireland. I love football and I collect football scarves. My mission is to try and get at least one scarf from every country in the world and what better way to do it during a global pandemic than ask strangers online! If you are interested and willing to help, please send any football scarf (preferably) or football items representing your team to my address. I will give you my address when you have replied to this comment down below.
Many thanks!
Best Regards,
Jack Hollywood
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